Hi baby gorgeous,
Don’t you think it’s so crazy how a dog always knows another dog, even if they look completely different? Like, how do they know how to do that? DON’T answer, I could look it up but… I won’t. Some things are best left a mystery.
I don’t know why I opened with that. Too late to go back and start again now, though.
It’s time for the SWEETIE Weekly.
😏 SWEETIE RATES 😏
My bresaola sandwich
I had a dream last week about bresaola, and in my dream I made a list of all the places I knew I could buy it near my house. No idea where this came from in the recesses of my mind, as I’ve had bresaola maybe a handful of times in my life, but after thinking about it for two days (I have a lot of spare time) I decided to buy some in case it was some coded message from the universe. It was not. But I made a great sandwich out of it!
After spending a few days on it, I think I have nailed my bresaola sandwich recipe. Here is the recipe.
Ingredients
The bresaola, obviously.
A ciabatta roll. It HAS to be an Italian bread.
Ajvar. However much you want tbh.
Goats cheese, spreadable.
Chilli. Can be in the form of flakes or paste or jam, even chilli crisp if that sets your soul on fire. I don’t find ajvar has the heat I’m looking for so it needs a teeny little boost.
Salt and pepper to taste. Not too much salt because the meat is already the centrepiece of salt and it’s not very good for you.
Dried onion for a little crunch.
Method:
Heat extra virgin oil in a pan, pan fry both sides of said bread until lightly golden.
Put everything on the sandwich.
Eat the sandwich.
Enjoy the sandwich.
Sometimes all you need in this world is a really nice sandwich. You can add spinach if you want, I haven’t been, but don’t let me stop ya.
Calling people a virgin
You’ve heard of calling people a loser, now try calling people a virgin! Not as cutting, still not original, still funny.
Honestly, next time somebody rubs you the wrong way try saying “What a fuckin’ virgin” and see how you feel after.
“Why are you so obsessed with insulting people?” you may ask me. I don’t know! But I’m having a good time doing it so mind your own business.
The best social media platform by far. Little to no interaction with others, barely political, pictures, vibes, easy UX.
Pinterest is so fun! It’s so fun, in fact, that I’ve somehow accumulated over 100k pins on just one of my many hyper-specific boards.
Sometimes I think I could’ve been a Rhodes Scholar if social media was never invented.
🤮 SWEETIE HATES 🤮
This haircut
I’ve been trashing this haircut every single chance I get for a hot minute. Horrible style, terrible vibe, unflattering to all, cool for none. Peaky Blinders meets Topman lookin’ ass haircut. It is the spiritual cousin to this haircut, which I may hate even more, but is at least a cultural dying star.
Even Timothée couldn’t pull it off! Let’s put this one to bed now.
Frog memes
Frogs get a look-in this week because I hate them and I have a lifelong phobia of them. Frogs are too trendy. They’re everywhere! We have gone full frog. Thinking about them gives me goosebumps. I hate their glistening skin and frenetic nature. They are NOT cute and definitely not to be trusted.
Please stop posting them because it makes me afraid and vulnerable when I am scrolling through social media and I know you wouldn’t want to do that to a sweet girl like me.
Menstruation
Not sure why we’re still doing this? It just feels like, from an evolutionary standpoint, this shouldn’t be happening anymore. Don’t really have an alternative to replace it in the reproductive cycle, but happy to dive head-first into the concepting stage. Personally I’d like to omit the elements that include blood and pain.
While I’m on the subject, I remember hearing a secondhand rumour a couple of years ago that a mega famous pop star (I won’t name her in print) is a ~free bleeder~, which is her own business, but she did so at a photoshoot where other people had to clean up her trail of menses. Wild.
Just a little grotty gossip for you to finish off another SWEETIE Weekly for the books.
Ciao for now.