Hello!
Hope this email finds you well. I have had my fill of this past week, and Iām ready to start anew, with even more vim, vigour and bitterness. Got a problem with that???? No??? Good. Sorry for having an attitude!!! Hereās a gift as a way of apologising.
šļø SWEETIE RATES šļø
Got the zoomies
The upcoming Bob Dylan biopic, A Complete Unknown, is looking floppier than TimothĆ©e Chalametās little Temu wig ā which is why production has picked back up in New Jersey for reshoots. Early cuts of the film have not been received well, and I have a little inkling that itās because itās ungodly to have TimotheĆ© Chalamet playing a character named āBobā. The only people on earth who look like TimothĆ©e Hal Chalamet are part-time elvin baristas/part-time vintage resellers and none of them are called Bob. Theyāre called, like, Lucky or Nim or Papier.
Iām glad they picked up shooting again, because it means weāve been graced with this behind the scenes picture.
He looks like a little boy getting his hair cut in one of those themed barber shop chairs.
I wonder if Kylie Jenner kinda got the ick from this pic. But then again, she stayed with Travis Scott after he fell off the stage while being auto tuned, so her threshold for embarrassing partners might be quite robust. I think I might make it my phone background.Ā
Not to be a bitch, but while Iām here, could the Costume department not have maybe scuffed his little AllSaints Chelsea boots a little? Threw the backpack on the ground a few times to make it look like it belongs to a struggling musician and not a KPMG consultant? I think Iām just bitter because, in my mind, the Bob Dylan biopic should solely be about his confused ass during the recording of We Are The World. Starring Edward Norton as Bob, natch.Ā
Rocks rock
When sitting beside a body of water, left to my own devices, I do not want to swim, to sleep, to tan. No. I want to pick up rocks, inspect them, perhaps even skim them, poorly, and then gently put them back down again so someone else can find them too. No matter whatās happening in the world, you can always count on finding a cool rock, one of natureās greatest resources.Ā
Bank holiday
Bank holiday tomorrow? Check. Whole week booked off? Check. Sun out? Check. Ā£30 left? Check. Try and stop me, world!!!
š¤¬ SWEETIE HATESĀ š¤¬
Once again from the top
Sabrina Carpenter has released a music video for her latest song, Taste, which is full of references to iconic films ā Death Becomes Her, Psycho, Kill Bill, the list goes on. And on. And on.Ā
Pointed references, it seems, are all we have left to inform much of modern art. At a cultural dead end, we can only point to what has already been, nod, smile, and say āAgain! Again!ā Like a toddler asking Mummy to make another funny face.Ā
Does it make you feel good when you see things youāve already seen before? Does seeing someone recontextualise something you already like make you like them or their output more? Do you feel safe seeing and hearing something someone else already took a risk on? Do you feel smarter for understanding the reference? Do you feel philosophically enriched from your steady diet of a copy of a copy of a copy?Ā
Lying is the most fun a musician can have without taking their clothes offĀ
Want to read something really fucking gross and kind of dark? Of course you do.Ā
Shaboozey Promo Account Deleted After His Marketing Agency Reveals Gross āFan Fictionā Tactics
TW: Annoying men speakingĀ
Shroominā
āDyson researchers have discovered that fungal chitosan ā which is found in the cell walls of oyster mushrooms and commonly used in skincare products ā can be used to tame unruly hair.ā
Sure, why not. I donāt even care anymore. Put some stupid mushrooms in my hair then, why donāt you. Whatever. Itās not like I have enough on my plate right now, or anything, now I have to think about the fungal chitosan which is found in the cells walls of oyster mushrooms and commonly used in skincare products and can be used to tame my unruly hair. Yeah, no thatās awesome. Thanks a lot.Ā
Adios bb š¤ā¤ļøāš„š¤š»