Hi SWEETIES!
Cute news: SWEETIE was featured in The Foreword, an incredible newsletter by the incredible Arabella Peterson. You should subscribe, unless you don’t like women or care about women’s stories…?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Here’s the SWEETIE Weekly.
🐣 SWEETIE RATES 🐣
Long egg
For reasons unbeknownst to me, I had never seen a long egg before this very week. As a big egg girl, this has shaken me to my core. I have absolutely zero desire to consume one but I do have an insatiable appetite for learning literally everything about long egg.
Obviously, long egg is made in a factory and not a natural occurring creation — a product of the 70’s in every way possible. What has sealed the deal for long egg love for me, though, are these videos of the venerable Keef Cooks trying, failing and succeeding at making a long egg at home.
With a mighty 16 YouTube videos in which he tackles long egg after long egg, Keef’s standout video is the one in which he finally pulls off his long egg dreams.
This is Keef’s magnum opus. His sense of pride is palpable, his self-confidence clearly skyrocketing. I am so proud of Keef. His happiness brings a tear to my eye. This is what long egg does for people. Long egg brings us together. Let’s go Gastronauts.
Journalling
Here I go with my monthly wholesome recommendation! Journalling changed my life and no I am not joking. I have been faithfully scribing my thoughts, feelings and gripes the past three or so years and it has been the number one source of my personal growth. It is also a very nifty way of keeping track of who has wronged me.
If anyone read my journal I would die of embarrassment, be resurrected out of spite and then die again. But guess what? It’s really, really good for you. Natch, of course it is, just like everything else I recommend.
Metallica: Some Kind of Monster
I’ve been on something of a music documentary kick in recent months and despite hearing about how incredible Metallica: Some Kind of Monster is, I never got around to it until this week. Big mistake. Huge.
Though I’ve never been a Metallica fan (too loud!!) I still gave this film a go, and I’m so pleased that I did. Most celebrity documentaries are overly sympathetic portraits of their subjects — carefully intimate enough to give some insight into personal struggles but flattering enough to leave the audience firmly pro-celeb. Not here.
First and foremost, Some Kind of Monster is a bare-bones exposure of egos unchecked. What was supposed to be a documentary about the making of the album St. Anger is instead a parade of arrogance and despair.
No longer able to work together due to the fractious and resentful relationships that have crystallised within the band, Metallica’s record company brings in an unlikely saviour. Phil Towle is a "performance enhancement coach" — not a trained psychologist, nor a psychiatrist — just some guy who previously helped stitch back together Rage Against The Machine. Dream job.
What follows from there is nothing short of captivating — a film that is at times mesmerising and hard to watch. Witnessing Metallica members James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich and Kirk Hammett battle through group therapy and a torturous method for making music gives an unmistakable I-don’t-think-I-should-be-seeing-this feeling.
The real star of Some Kind of Monster is Phil, a messy b who lives for drama and who creeps closer and closer to the band, his overbearing presence culminating in a scene I had to rewind to ensure I’d clocked it correctly. It’s truly a great documentary. Despite their mess and pettiness, it makes me wish I liked Metallica’s music.
🐍 SWEETIE HATES 🐍
Being the bigger person
In the wise words of SZA — I don’t care about consequences I want my lick back. I am out for blood. I have spent three decades being the bigger person, and guess what? I’m not interested in doing it anymore. For too long I let people walk all over me and solemnly accepted that perhaps one day they would realise the error of their ways through careful self-development or a gorgeous serving of karma. Wrong! That is the dreamscape of a fool.
The world has pushed a sweet girl too far. In 2023 I am entering chaos mode. I am spiritually baying at the moon and beating my chest. I am a reformed keeper of secrets and retired burier of poor behaviour. No longer am I gently waving away rudeness and disrespect. I am conveniently erasing the Forgiveness chapter in All About Love from my memory.
I am fed up. I am not the bigger person, I am 5’4. If anyone has done me dirty, I’m coming for ya. Probably through a series of passive aggressive Instagram stories that I am much too old to pull off.
Velvet
Far be it from me to be dramatic……. But I would rather be drawn and quartered than ever touch a thick velvet fabric ever again. I am no George Costanza. I do not ever want to be draped in velvet.
Velvet has made my teeth feel weird ever since I was a child. It’s a contemptible textile. Even brushing past it sends a shiver down my spine. What the hell is this shit. If it did not have such a mellifluous name, I sincerely doubt velvet would be where it is today.
Also, why velvet when you could have SATIN? Now that’s a fabric I can get behind.
Elaborate skincare routines
I consider myself a long-term victim of the Into The Gloss illness. Emily Weiss had me hoodwinked, bamboozled, lead astray, run amok and flat out deceived. I was reading Top Shelf profiles of nepo babies and girlbosses and worrying about the fact that I didn’t get microdermabrasion monthly or have eucalyptus hanging from my shower head.
I used to spend a hideous amount of money on beauty, money I could not realistically afford to spend, because for some reason I was a 24-year old that felt she needed Biologique Recherche and Byredo candles for self-care. I was out here using vibrating face washers and manically checking ingredient lists for fragrances. It was an obsession that damaged my psyche in a way I am still trying to undo. Even now, when I feel the sun on my face, I instinctively worry that I am rapidly wrinkling.
Here’s a secret for your skin — all you really need is Differin or Tretinoin. Use a no-frills cleanser. Wear sunscreen. Take a night off from Differin or Tret and chemically exfoliate once a week. Maybe use a vitamin c serum in the morning if you want to. A face mask here and there is nice, but not necessary. Everything is going to be OK.
Have a good one!