Happy New Year SWEETIES ❣️
How was your NYE? I went to a neat, intimate gathering and drank wine and laughed a lot. Leaving the party at 12.02am, I ran through the streets of Hackney Wick as fireworks went off, trying desperately to make the last train before they were finished for the night.
I didn’t have to run the whole way, but I almost did, clacking through the empty streets in Mary Janes and a pink party dress. I passed a young couple fighting, a horrible fight, one where the girl was suffering from the kind of full-body shuddering cry, where you can’t fill your lungs because you’re choking down too many tears, and the boy was yelling and yelling and yelling about how she’d ruined the night.
Watching them, I saw a glimpse of myself in an alternative universe, and in a way I was sorry for them both. I was sorry for the boy for being so miserable, and sorry for the girl for having a boyfriend that could be so catastrophically mean. I hope she finds peace in her new year.
I made the last train. I got home and took my time getting ready for bed. When I woke up in the morning, I didn’t even have a whisper of a hangover. I wasn’t tired at all. I felt really nice. It is, indeed, a happy new year.
💋 SWEETIE RATES 💋
Creating a silly little challenge for yourself
I did it. I finished my aim to watch 100 movies I’d never seen before. Here are my ten favourites from 2022, not ranked. It was really hard to cut down the list!
Drive My Car
Waiting for Guffman
The Souvenir Pt II
Vertigo
I Think We’re Alone Now
Casablanca
In the Mood for Love
Triangle of Sadness
Taste of Cherry
The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
There were movies I found underwhelming, dull or just staggeringly average — Spencer, Love Story, Not Okay, the Persuasion adaptation with Dakota Johnson, obviously. There were the movies I watched that I hoped would be bad, like the mind-bogglingly obscene Aline, Obsessed, Vampire’s Kiss, they each delivered in spades. Through fun circumstances I watched Marry Me — the JLO vehicle where Owen Wilson cosplays as Ellen Degeneres — on two separate occasions. I have brain damage now. But I love it!
The best part about it is that I actually followed through. I loved doing a little challenge even thought it also stressed me the fuck out!!!
So now, a new year means a new challenge. Maybe I’ll listen to 50, or even 100 new albums, or watch movies by 100 different directors. Why I am seemingly unable to choose a self-designated challenge that does not include the consumption of media is not of concern right now. Mind your own business.
Guinea pigs exit and enter the tube
Guinea pigs exit and enter the tube... It’s really as simple as that. Why don’t you take a deep breath and sit a while with me and watch “about 80” guinea pigs exit and enter the tube? I don’t want for anything else in this world except to watch guinea pigs exit and enter the tube. When Dua Lipa sang “You’ve never been to heaven, have you?” she was referring to seeing guinea pigs exit and enter the tube at the Bosgoed Animal Paradise.
Having a little walk
I love walking, I’m actually a bit of a walking-head, that’s a fun fact about me. This is no hot girl walk, this is serious and should be treated as such. You see, unless it’s traumatising or dangerous, there are not many issues in life that can’t be helped tremendously by going on a long walk. Björk even says so!
Go look at some grass and birds. Wear Airpods and listen to nothing but the sound of blood rushing in your ears and your own thoughts. Or listen to A Blossom Fell and daydream about a different life. Have an epiphany, mumble to yourself, it’s your walk, go nuts. You might even meet a new cat to befriend.
Have a cigarette too. Just kidding, I don’t smoke. But I wish I did!
😨 SWEETIE HATES 😨
Héctor Bellerin having a girlfriend
Héctor Bellerin has a girlfriend and she’s not me. Somebody get me a valium, a chaise longue and a cashmere scarf to wrap around my head until I can appropriately calm down.
Why did he do that? Doesn’t he know that I like every single fancam about him that comes up on my TikTok FYP? Isn’t he too busy posting about feminism and toxic masculinity on his Instagram stories to find someone, who is not me, to love? I’m literally right here?
Now here I am. Without Héctor. Egg on my face. I could’ve very well been in my WAG bag had he taken a chance on me, a woman he has never met. I bet he’d love SWEETIE. I could teach him so much about the spectrum of Meryl Streep’s accents across her filmography, which ones are good and bad etc. We could kick a ball around once a week, if that will make him happy.
It’s not too late for us Héctor. Email me.
Nihilism
At the very least, nihilism is on pause. Everything has meaning.
It’s time to love and respect everybody and carry an arsenal of empathy with you, even if you can’t always reach for it as quickly as you’d like. It’s time to move through the world as you keep a watchful eye for synchronicities and moments of profundity. It’s time to tell people you love them, and what you love about them, and mean it. It’s time to see friendship as a gift instead of an expectation, to communicate with people from a place of caring truth instead of your internal defensiveness.
Nihilism has been found dead in a ditch. The way forward is through considered hope and resurfacing an old feeling — wonder.
Pepsi Max
Yuckers. People have to be lying when they say they like this shit. It is bad and it tastes bad and you’re bad if you like it. Just kidding. I love you, I would never think that about you. But you’re pushing it. Pepsi Max can go jump, as far as I’m concerned. So can the people that drink it. I’m joking! I got you again silly 😇
Kisses n hugs n lots of love. Thanks for everything xxx