Hi cutie pie,
This edition of SWEETIE Weekly is ever-so-late because I have been in rural Wales, walking, sitting, dog-watching and cold-catching. Shout out to Ruby for putting up with me. Let’s goooooo.
🫀 SWEETIE RATES 🫀
Paul Mescal lashes OUT
Paul Mescal, who I find myself more and more charmed by with each passing day, is doing something that I loooooove when celebrities do — he’s being bitchy about his fans.
As he should. After seeing footage of the rabid fans that swarmed Jack Antonoff and Margarate Qualley’s rehearsal dinner just to catch a glimpse of Taylor Swift, I am glad to see someone tactfully swerving the parasocial relationships created between fans and their idol of choice.
Pauly told Harpers Bazaar that “It's nobody else's business and should never be commented on because it's indecent. And it's unkind. Honest answer, it makes me angry… It's the entitlement to the information that people expect that just drives me f--king mad.”
Yes! Get her, Jade.
Here’s an aside nobody cares about — I saw Paul Mescal having a coffee in Angel last December. As I passed by him, the sun hit his pale blue eyes and I felt my breath very genuinely being taken away. That means he’s allowed to say whatever he wants, tbh.
Plus, if Paul hadn’t said this, and someone hadn’t posted it to r/fauxmoi, I wouldn’t have known about this B.O.N.K.E.R.S letter to Chris Evans from his~fans~ about HIS relationship. A must read. More gripping than whatever claptrap they’re giving The Booker prize to these days, I am certain.
Look, it’s you
Yes, I am sick again. But I am so, so brave. Watching this on repeat (again and again, and again and again and again) is healing me though, and we just have to believe that.
A boomer saying
I will take any opportunity, relish it, in fact, to reply to someone by saying “A broken clock is right twice a day.” I’m getting goosebumps just THINKING about saying it. I’m always always en garde, ready to deploy the phrase at any given second.
It’s perfect to drop into a conversation as a retort to comments like, “Amazing! I got a coffee from Costa and it didn’t taste like fucking shit!” or “Wow. Gal Gadot actually did a reasonable job acting in this film.”
Just kiddin’. That last one would never happen.
😡 SWEETIE HATES 😡
Vile Jesse Rutherford
STOP THE PRESSES!!! A man with bad vibes made a bad song with bad lyrics. Billie Eilish’s recent ex boyfriend, Jesse Rutherford, is more than just a person who looks like somebody drowned Mark Ronson — he’s also a loser!
Before dating Billie Eilish, I only really knew Mr Rutherford as a musician who dated influencer Devon Carson (I often punish myself by looking at her Instagram) and hearing his songs on TikTok. With his latest lyrical move, though, he is now officially SWEETIE’s certified Cretin of the Week.
Jesse’s song, POV, rumoured to be about Billie, is causing a ruckus on the internet. Why? Well, let me share some of the song’s key lyrics with you.
Feel like Alejandro when she Gaga on my goo
Pardon? When she Gaga on my goo. GOO. Goo.
Goo.
She been listening to me since 2013
I know she's got daddy issues, welcome to the family
Here, Jesse is oh-so-cleverly referring to the song Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood, his old band. It seems that Billie Eilish was 11 when this song was released.
I'm at the top, you're at the bottom
It's a different point of view
Calling out "and one" every time I point and shoot
Something tells me this song is about r**ting…. Curious.
And they told me it was over, imma disagree
Oh honey, it’s over red rover.
Anyway. Goo.
England knocking out the Matildas
At least England lost the World Cup! My only consolation.
Elton John x Kevin Spacey
Elton John has been spotted at a dinner with famed creep Kevin Spacey. The two, apparently very good friends, ate at a restaurant in Nice. More like… Not Nice…
Moving on. Long-time friends, Elton testified on Spacey’s behalf during his recent trial for sexual assault. He was cleared of the charges in July. His winning defence? He’s just a “big flirt.”
Elton, I’m going to need you to shuffle on out of my heart. Goodbye, yellow brick toad!
Adios!!!