Rules Fetish, Lee Pace, Worms 👉👈
I know I'M livin' la vida loca but are YOU?
Hey cutie,
Just letting you know that you have something in your teeth. No… not there, that tooth. Noo, you’re still missing it! Just go to the bathroom and check. Yeah, that’s better. Now that we have that out of the way…
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Little missions
Around twice a week, when I’m out and about, I search for Foco drinks. If you don’t know, Foco is a Thai beverage company that make sweet, delicious and sometimes challenging drinks in fun flavours — tamarind, soursop, pennywort, sugarcane, mangosteen — plus the best coconut juice on the market.
While it’s fun to do a taste test on whichever flavour I’m trying when I get home, I have to admit that that’s not specifically the experience that I’m after — I’m after the hunt. Popping into every convenience store, Asian grocer and off licence just to see if they have one brand of drink is a very healthy hobby to have. It is calming and mundane, low-stakes and gratifying. I am never disappointed when I don't find Foco, and overjoyed on the rare occasion when I do find it (just three times!).
I always need to have little side missions in my life to break up my time working, socialising, and slowly decaying. Searching for Foco has made my life 15% more interesting, which you might think doesn’t sound like much, but it is, and you should be embarrassed for thinking that way.
Gary Busey hit and run
This clip has everything I’m into— The Beach Boys, crime, Gary Busey. The premise is simple, Gary Busey rear ends this woman’s car and maniacally drives away. And I do mean maniacally. The man is driving like a geriatric Crash Bandicoot. Not for nothing, he is put his whole Busey into that outfit (reverse Google Image searching that hat).
Does he say “Shut up” at 0:34?? That might be wishful thinking. Please. I know I shouldn’t be cackling… It’s not funny, but it’s not not funny. “You can’t hit someone and leave!” Well… Actually it kind of looks like ya can. Hitting a stranger’s car and then blasting Wouldn’t It Be Nice… I do think it would be kind of nice.
I fell down the Busey rabbit hole after watching this, stumbling across this video which is intoxicating on many levels.
First of all, none of these tweets are mean. Second of all… What? Third of all… When is Only Human coming to the West End…
12ft.io
I will never stop singing the praises of this Godly invention. Goodbye paywalls, hello INTELLECT. Now that you have 12ft.io ready to go, time to read the incred piece Clare Malone did on Hasan Minhaj’s lies liberally-constructed storytelling for The New Yorker. Yikes.
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Path etiquette
I enjoy the simple pleasures in life, and walking around for hours is one of those. But I have to confess that despite my propensity for walking, I still tend to get very frustrated and flustered when I walk around London. For a city that has a pathological obsession with rules, these people have a curious lack of decorum when it comes to footpath etiquette.
To put it simply — people here don’t know how to move around. They make the simple task of getting from A to B as infuriating as possible. When I moved here I was shocked, truly, to learn that there is no set side of the path to walk on. In Australia, you walk on the left. When you stand on the escalator, take the stairs, or drive a car you stay on the left. It’s all very clean and straightforward, and you are rightfully pilloried if you get it wrong.
In the UK, you stand on the right of the escalator, drive on the left side of the road and simply try not to die on the footpath. Bikes, scooters, prams and pedestrians all jostle along, constantly oscillating between which side of the path has better vibes. On weekend morning walks I find myself zig-zagging along as though I’m fleeing a sniper. I have picked up a strange habit of throwing my head over my shoulder every ten seconds or so to make sure I don’t get mangled by a cyclist or a huffing, puffing runner.
The worst part? This organisational oversight doesn’t even seem to BOTHER people. They’ve just accepted it as though they HAVE to live like this.You don’t have to do this, guvnas. You can be free, FREE, by simply ascribing to a very strict and undying set of rules just to make meeeee happy.
Lee Pace is American
I found out recently that handsome gargantuan, esteemed actor and king of shorts, Lee Pace, is American. Huh?
While watching Bodies, Bodies, Bodies I thought “Gee, Lee Pace’s American accent is really good. Let’s see where he’s from in England.” The next minute? I am sick to my stomach. He’s not doing an American accent. He HAS an American accent.
He’s not just American, either, he’s from Oklahoma. It’s really hard to get more American than that. This would be like finding out that Olivia Coleman is actually from Cape Town. I hate it.
Worm grunting
Worm grunting (or ‘worm charming’ if you could ever conceive of those two words sitting next to each other) is basically when you do something annoying that makes a bunch of worms appear. Idk, watch the video.
I am filled to the brim with questions. Who found out that this works? Is the worm business really that lucrative? And why would you ever want to do this? Like, ok great, you fiddled around with some wood and a tool and now we have a bunch of disgusting worms everywhere. Fantastic work. Christ.
Ok I looked up more about why the worms grunt (?) when hearing the noise. It’s because they think a predator is coming and they don’t want to get gobbled up so they fling themselves to the surface. So not only is it repugnant, it’s also mean spirited. Leave these slimy beasts alone!
Horrible little things, worms are. I’m really getting worked up about this, I have to tell you. I don’t know why I put this in the newsletter.
Ok bye!