There’s simply not a moment to waste with a boring intro. It’s newsletter time!!!!!!!!!! Are you ready?
I’m not.
Just kidding.
Little joke for ya.
😕
💅🏻 SWEETIE RATES 💅🏻
Dirty bird
Well. I don’t know how else to tell you this, Kim Kardashian asked Kathy Bates to star in a SKIMS campaign…
Wait, WAIT. I’m super into this. Misery-themed Skims campaign shot by Nadia Lee Cohen when? What’s next? Jessica Lange for Heaven? Glenn Close for Miaou? Sign me UP.
Remember when the brand was called Kimono? Lol.
More than OKAY
*Maury Povich voice* “Espresso…. You are NOT the song of the summer!”
The song of the summer, I think, is OKAY by JT of City Girls fame. In case you’re wondering which one of the City Girls she is, she is most definitely not the one that was recently involved with P Diddy. Phew! Anyway. Stream OKAY.
Oh, and Millionaire Dick. For old time’s sake.
Being wholesome
Eating with the seasons. Getting exposure to the sun. Spending time outside. Consuming dense nutrients. I am nothing more than a big, needy ficus. LFG.
🔨 SWEETIE HATES 🔨
Never Been List
Scab, “Momala” inventor and chronic personal space invader Drew Barrymore has REVEALED that she once left her sex list at Danny Devito’s house. I literally hate it when that happens! “I’m the most disorganised person,” she says. Alright!
I don’t mean to pit women against each other, but I can’t imagine that Drew Barrymore’s sex list has anything on Lindsay Lohan’s. Tom Green vs Jamie Dornan? David Arquette vs Joaquin Phoenix? Justin Long vs Heath Ledger? Corey Feldman vs Colin Farrell? Be serious.
Feather hair extensions incoming
Maybe I’m just BITTER and MEAN, but ummm, why is Kate Hudson doing all this?
Another week, another tepid artistic showing from a nepo baby who has a zillion opportunities to do something fun and interesting and appealing to me personally because I’m the most important girl in the world ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever. If you’re going to get into music, why dip your toe into Kelly Clarkson’s pond? Do something different, collab with Arca or become a Max Martin girlie. Just stay AWAY from Jack Antonoff, for the love of God.
Also, I can’t say why… But this whole endeavour is giving antivaxxer.
Look how they massacred my boy
Quick q, are you Ryan Gosling’s injector?
If you’re not Ryan Gosling’s injector feel free to scroll on, but if you ARE Ryan Gosling’s injector I have one thing to say to you:
Ryan Gosling was supposed to go the way of Paul Newman, not Mickey Rourke. Now he’s a pillow-y princess, soft and delicate, taut and plump. It’s all wrong. He should be grizzled, not yassified. Please respect my privacy during this time.
Bye!