Hiiiiiiiiiii you,
What a time to be alive. That’s all I’ve got for an intro this week. I think that’s quite enough.
Ready for your silly little list?
💋 SWEETIE RATES 💋
SOS by SZA
Bless Solána, she’s done it again. We finally have SOS five long years after Ctrl dropped, and it was worth every minute of the wait.
SZA makes music for ugly ducklings, for girls who were told they were weird a hundred times before anyone ever called them pretty. It’s for those of us who feel too much, and then spiral with worry about feeling too much, caught in a cycle of anxiety. She speaks to those of us who long-believed that suppression led to perfection, who perpetually dimmed our own light to let others shine a little brighter, who heal and regress and grow awkwardly, stumbling all the way.
SZA has an uncanny ability to sing of hyper-specific scenarios and still have the sentiment punch you in the stomach. Have I ever been jealous of a makeup-free girlie that works at Gucci? No. But did I start crying when I first heard her sing:
“I never liked her,
Wanted to be like her”
???
Yessir!
Did I relate when she sang:
“Rather be in jail than alone.”
Nope! Not one iota. But I’m still here for it. Thank you, SZA.
Tuna sandwiches
Tuna sandwich. Tunaaaaaaaa. Sandwich. My favourite workday lunch is always always always a tuna sandwich on brown with a fistful of spinach, Kewpie mayo and a fresh green juice. Nothing beats it. A close second is a white bread tuna sandwich with a can of Coke, à la Super Hans. That’s really it. No dramas. No surprises.
I don’t really understand why people don’t like tuna sandwiches. Does it taste a little like cat food? Sure. To that I say, “meow!” It’s so yummy and healthy and fulfilling. Go on, add a little dill, some chilli, little squeeze of lemon if it pleases ya. Just… no sweet corn, please, for the love of God I am begging you, no sweet corn.
The A24 podcast
A24 has a podcast. I know, insufferable. But I’ll be damned if it doesn’t hit. Though episode releases are inconsistent, there are so many banger listens — my king John Early and his adolescent idol Toni Colette, Nick Kroll and longtime friend and collaborator Jenny Slate, Martin Scorcese’s truly inspiring conversation with fellow Director Joanna Hogg — the list goes on.
Not every episode is an easy listen. Paul Thomas Anderson with the Safdie brothers sounds like eavesdropping on three annoying friends who believe they should make a podcast because they had fun at a drunken lunch one time. A charming Paul Mescal comes off in much better nick than his counterpart, nepo baby Honor Swinton Byrne, who walks an out-of-touch tightrope.
What’s most compelling about it all is hearing these accomplished public figures talking about their work and creative processes, and how insecurity in its purest form seems to be the predominant fuel that keeps their careers alight.
Tbh, I love that! Between SOS dropping and the The A24 Podcast, the recovering insecure girlies are eating WELL.
👽 SWEETIE HATES 👽
Prosecco
I think you’ll find I’m actually antisecco. Tastes like carbonated cat piss. Has an arguably worse aftertaste. Every single time I drink it I think it’s going to be different and it never is.
I’m being dead serious, does anyone really like prosecco? Or is it just an elaborate hoax? The whole affair makes me feel extremelyyyy Mugatu.
Sanctioned fun
Maybe I’m just not a fun person, but no, I don’t want to go to a barcade. Or bowling. Or laser tag. Or play board games.
I do not want to go to an intimate bar to enjoy a quiet drink and have a table of people next to me playing Jenga, they’re shrieking, little blocks of wood are loudly clattering around every two seconds. Kubb at a picnic? Spare me. Have some decorum.
I don’t feel the need to gamify my interactions with other people. Let’s just all hang out and gossip instead of throwing things at things and being mean in the name of friendly competition. Does anybody like the person they become when they take part in games? I certainly don’t. Me or you, for that matter.
There is an exception for Pictionary, on the other hand… Now we’re cookin’ with gas.
Turkey (the bird)
Scary bird and an underwhelming-tasting meat to boot. Let the turkeys go and live in the wild where they can be terrifying on their own, and keep them away from my dinner table. It’s traditional for Christmas? Ok, so is me being quietly upset. Let’s keep it moving.
Thanks for scrolling. Loving you xx